Dear Margaret (x 2),
Sorry for bothering you again, as if my first letter to you wasn’t enough. But I just caught wind of the fact that you are now engaged, of course I heard it via facebook. I figure as your first boyfriend I deserved you flying to me and at least telling me face to face. Ok, a phone call? Then again I guess if you had a list of people to call directly about your great news, I would rank somewhere between 87th and 1,060th, so I understand.
Let’s get the obvious out of the way first – congratulations. I mean that from the bottom of my heart. You were my first ‘girlfriend,’ so it’s not as if I hold some grudge that goes back 15 years. We were friends throughout high school, and have kept in touch just enough for me to know that you deserve all the happiness that has come to you recently, and is coming your way in the future. That’s really it…and yes I realize the quote doesn’t exactly fit – since it wasn’t the label of girlfriend you didn’t like, it was more about me trying to kiss you with cheese in my braces; and you aren’t someone’s wife quite yet. You will be though, soon, and I couldn’t be happier for you.
Though I guess I do regret I never actually got to kiss you,
If you invite me, please place me next to some hot bridesmaids…
* 500 Days of Summer