Would you like to do this again? With you – wouldn’t have thought so.*

editors note: this is a repost of one of my earliest letters.  i do this for two reasons 1. not many read my blog in the early days (not many still do, but i have a few more readers) 2. i cant stop blowing my nose long enough to write a full post. enjoy!

Dear Shayna,

I want to thank you for making me re-think my internet dating habits: Lesson #1 – Never, ever agree to more than a lunch or a drink for the first face to face meeting, dinners are simply too long, and sometimes really painful.  Like it was with you.  So while you may have cost me about $40 (remember, when you offered to split it I couldn’t take you up on it quickly enough), you also taught me something priceless.

Lesson #2 – Whether it is on purpose or subconsciously, you made me realize that we all sell our selves online.  We project an image of what we think people want to see in our profile, and then enhance that image through emails, online chat and dare I say – even an adult-like phone call. I think everyone does this to a certain degree; I like to think I try my best to show people that I am down to earth, witty, and pretty much the man.  You seemed like a happy-go-lucky, easy to talk to, educated individual.  Well, at least you are educated (I can only presume you didn’t lie about your Master’s Degree).  Turns out you were actually quite miserable.  Upon getting the awkward greeting out of the way, I asked how your day went.  Your response, a terse, “Awful.”  I’ll spare you the details, but it was only downhill from there.

Lesson # 3 – You also taught me to watch what I say.  When I mentioned I was looking for jobs at prep schools, you were curious as to why only private.  My answer, if you recall, was along the lines of, “Well the administrative type job I’m looking for aren’t typically at public schools, I’m not certified to teach at a public school, and I went to a private high school so I know the landscape and think I’d really enjoy that environment again.”  I didn’t realize that was such a snobby comment, because you replied, “Private school kid huh? Aren’t you the privileged one.”  At least that wasn’t 20 minutes into knowing each other.  Oh, wait. Yes it was.

Lesson # 4 – I guess I’m not the only one who has trouble reading signals.  Let’s recap real quick: You barely spoke, and when you did something miserable usually came out; you called me a snob; I scoffed at a second glass of wine and dessert; even though I have always paid on the first date unless the female absolutely insists, as soon as you brought out your plastic I think I tore it from your hands to throw in with mine; oh yeah, I shook your hand goodbye.  Despite all this Shayna, you actually had the gall to send me an email the next day informing me what a blast you had and that you wanted to do it again soon. Suffice it to say, that certainly didn’t happen…and if you couldn’t read that signal, hopefully this letter spells it out a bit clearer.

See you never,


PS – I should tell you that my guess is you were just having a bad day, and that you are probably far cooler and sweeter than you presented yourself on our date.  But first impressions are everything.  Sorry.

*The Office, UK Christmas Special

About these ads

9 Responses to “Would you like to do this again? With you – wouldn’t have thought so.*”

  1. January 7, 2011 at 11:31 am

    Wow, thanks for the laughs. Did you respond to the email, or just let her assume the worst?

  2. January 7, 2011 at 11:55 am

    i did, told her i had fun too…but i didnt think we were a ‘match.’ within five minutes i was defriended on facebook. classic.

  3. January 7, 2011 at 12:30 pm

    This sounds incrediably funny, in the same situation I don’t think I would be able to hold in the laughter at such an awkward meeting. I do think you should forward that message to her though, or maybe just link her to the blog haha.

  4. January 7, 2011 at 3:02 pm

    That date seems too crazy to be true but its sad because it is true. After learning lesson #3 I would have faked an emergency and got the hell out of there haha..thanks for reposting, it was interesting to read.

  5. 5 TL
    January 7, 2011 at 11:58 pm

    I keep wondering when the FB delete is appropriate… Haha, I guess she answered my question!

  6. January 8, 2011 at 12:00 am

    I am surprized at how much lying actually takes place. I have a friend who was telling me yesterday that went she met her current man on a website, under his profile it spoke about books and he stated that he read self-help books. (We were in a book store when this came up). So when she actually met him and got chatting she asked him what books he was currently reading, and he said that he didn’t read! She then said, but M, you have put on yoru profile that you read self-help books”. He then said, “yes, the ones that show you how to “do it yourself” when it comes to making something!”
    I had a good laugh. Needless to say, they remain companions, and he hates the fact that she loves reading!


  7. January 9, 2011 at 1:49 pm

    Reow. And haha.
    I’m with you on private schools- I went to one and I plan on doing the same for my kids.

  8. January 11, 2011 at 5:10 pm

    Please read my blog and tell me how to compose a text to get rid of a guy who thinks that 4 coffees constitutes a ‘situation’ http://dancingdivorcee.wordpress.com/2011/01/09/mr-starbucks-part-ii/

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Letters sent…

January 2011
« Dec   Feb »

What Era of Letters do you want to read?

DearExGirlfriend Tweets

Error: Twitter did not respond. Please wait a few minutes and refresh this page.

send a letter of your own (or just to say what’s up)

dearexgirlfriend at gmail

Join 102 other followers


Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 102 other followers