I bet you never thought you’d end up on a blog like this, right? Where I waste all my time and hard-earned money reminiscing about females that for one reason or another, won’t give me the time of day. Well, thought it was probably a safe assumption on your part, I think we all know what happens when one assumes. No, they don’t make an “ass” out of “u” and “me,” because in no way does you ending up on this blog make you an ass, and it sure as shit doesn’t make me an ass. All it does is mean your assumption was wrong, I hate that effing saying.
Anyway, I was lucky enough to have watched you shine yet again yesterday. Even more fortunate – it was on bluray, on a high-def, 100+inch projection screen. Could it be possible that there was even more fortune involved…yes! There was good beer, good snacks, a few choice friends, and even some of that stuff that lots of people like in Vermont and it should be legalized, yet I digress. Bottom line is, it was about the 100th time I’ve watched you shout lines like, “I love the dark. But I hate nature, I HATE nature;” or, “Ok Brand, Michael Jackson didn’t come over to my house, to use the bathroom…but his sister did;” or even, “Hey Mikey this is great…all we have are old Chanukah decorations in our house.” (FYI, I did not copy and paste any part of those quotes, I knew them from memory…I can’t decide if this is a good thing or not). And you know what, dear friend, you grow on me more and more each time.
I think it’s because the older I get, the more complicated life becomes; and the shenanigans you and the rest of the Goonies get into simply remind me of a time when I didn’t care about things like health insurance, a career, or females. A time when I could get as much joy of making fun of my overweight friend as I could talking to a cute girl. Even yesterday, the friends I was with, well it was another guy and two girls. Both of us guys have some level of interest in one of the females we were with…but there was no tension, because we were watching a timeless classic about how effing sweet it is to be an innocent kid.
Maybe it’s all that…or maybe it’s just because seeing the “Truffle Shuffle” on the big screen was sweet.
A fellow Jew
ps – If someone tries to get you to make “Goonies 2,” please say no. Thanks.