Going against my better judgment I am going to write my first letter in almost three weeks to my readers (again), but really it’s on behalf of myself. I say ‘against my better judgment’ for two reasons: 1. the Jewish guilt I feel for not coming up with something new in so long is really riding me hard right now and 2. I’ve released this blog to a few of my real (not twitter/blog friends who don’t actually know who I am) friends, and thus fear being harassed over how lame some of this is sure to be. But as I’ve found myself saying lots lately, f*ck it.
Basically I want to use this space as a means to offer an apology to all of my adoring fans out there. I say that with only a hint of sarcasm, because in truth I did receive many tweets, direct messages, and emails during my absence inquiring as to my whereabouts, even people claiming “I can’t get through my day without your posts.” While I think that is a bit too much pressure on myself, I appreciate the sentiment. Knowing my writing has actually meant something to at least a few people makes it worthwhile. However, blogging by nature is narcissistic, and therefore what my fans think really amount to jack shit, at the end of the day. I kid, I kid.
But honestly, I created this blog to try to discover something about myself, in a humorous (hopefully) and anonymously public manner. Now, my self proclaimed break in the action has not come because I have discovered anything, in fact, I’m probably even more at a loss for my romantic self than I was when I started last fall. However, real life has managed to get in the way, and as a result, finding someone to make out with has not really been on my radar this month.
Three things all happened at once: 1. I took on more freelance writing to pay the mortgage (which means when I have free time, writing/blogging is not exactly my favorite thing to do) 2. Tennis season started and I’m still adjusting to waking up at 5am a few days a week and 3. I realized once the summer ends, I’m going to need full time employment…and as a result I’ve actually started applying myself to job search more.
Bottom line is I haven’t been on a date in over a month, and on top of that, I haven’t even really been interested. I don’t know where I’m going to be in 6 months, and since I need to figure that out it makes trying to pursue a relationship out somewhat difficult. I would’ve thought that writing about ex-girlfriends would still be really easy, but getting mentally into the moment when I’m having a tough time about present options for make outs is harder than one would think.
But I have some good news. Not knowing exactly where I’m going to be in the near future shouldn’t really have this much of an effect on my personal life…so I think I’m going to rev up the engines again. The chances of me finding anyone who I like enough/likes me enough to alter my future are slim anyway, so like I said above, f*ck it.
Also, I want to make out.
Jeremy (bam, my real name)