You don’t know the first thing about love, because you don’t understand compromise*

Dear Lizzie,

I think you are perhaps the most important date(s) I’ve gone on in a long time. Our first date was a typical ‘meet for drinks,’ I expected to be out of there in an hour or so (sue me, I’m not the biggest optimist in the world, I mean it makes sense, just look at my track record). We sat and chatted for about three hours, and if your drop-off point wasn’t in such a brightly lit, public area, I definitely would’ve (tried) to make out with you. But alas, we made plans for a second date, which was good enough for me.

Warm, sunny days have not exactly been the norm around here, so we decided to take advantage of it and go for a leisurely stroll with your dog, who is awesome by the way. It was on this walk where I learned something important about what I need in a significant other. Obviously things in common are important, as is your laugh/beautiful smile/and to be completely honest a lovely looking chestal region. And we do have some stuff in common, after all without that I don’t think our conversation would be so free flowing. However, once you started going on about a summer filled with motorcycles, camping & manual labor I knew it wasn’t meant to be.

I was still contemplating whether or not we should do a full on dinner date to see if we could still manage, just because I do think we clicked on one level, until you asked what my plans were the rest of the weekend. Besides skiing and a concert, I told you about how I was psyched for Sunday afternoon because a few friends were coming over to watch the final round of the Masters & then the Red Sox/Yankees game. The disdain you had for both events really nailed in the coffin for us.

I used to think I’d rather date someone like you, a TOTAL non-sports fan, than a New York Yankee fan. I realize now that I was dead wrong. As this week crept by, and the Red Sox kept losing, and then the Bruins lost their opening playoff game to the effing Canadians, and I’m dealing with the stress of the impending Knicks-Celtics playoff series, I realized I need to date a sports fan. I need someone who can understand why I wasn’t in the best mood this week; or why I walked around Newark Int’l Airport aimlessly for 3 hours trying to choke back tears after the Jets beat the Patriots a few months ago; or why…ok you get the point, right?

Again, I don’t need someone who will be affected in the same way I am, because I understand I take it to the extreme, but it is who I am. I just need someone who would empathize with me…and who wouldn’t scoff at the idea of basing a Sunday afternoon around large sporting events.


ps – I hope you understand…because I’m sure you don’t want to be with someone who scoffs at the idea of riding a motorcycle two hundred miles into the middle of nowhere, starting a fire from scratch and sleeping in a tent, like myself.

*Closer – yes this quote is a bit overly dramatic with regards to the situation…but I was in a rush.

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12 Responses to “You don’t know the first thing about love, because you don’t understand compromise*”

  1. 1 Sham
    April 15, 2011 at 9:21 am

    So if things don’t work out with motorcycle camper… I am willing to ignore the Red Sox (especially now) for a while and cruise around with her while you watch the Sox? I will tell her what an amazing writer and friend you are. Think she would let me ride in her sidecar? I would hold the camping gear on my lap. Will I have to wear a helmet? Get back to me and let me know if I can help.

  2. April 15, 2011 at 9:51 am

    What if she hadn’t been disdainful? Would she still have to be a sports fan? I have given up the disdain but never developed a love for sports. I do think that when other people are watching sports, it’s a great chance for access to quality snacks and a quiet stretch to read, though.

  3. April 15, 2011 at 10:18 am

    I’m a Cubs fan and a Cowboys fan. The only thing I can’t handle when it comes to boys and sports are the ones who take it too far– the ones who will constantly berate my choice of teams when I mostly just think the players are hot, or the ones who have to take Xanax after their team loses.

    I understand being disappointed, but I’ve known a guy who turned into a toddler when his team lost. Fortunately, I wasn’t dating him. If I had been, I probably would have dumped him after that. Who needs someone so serious… over the Bears?

  4. 4 PYT
    April 15, 2011 at 10:19 am

    This is so true! As a girl who loves sports I know how much a guy who does as well appreciates that. While I dont think its a deal breaker if a girl doesn’t have the same die hard appreciation you do…showing a little interest would be important I believe…aside from it preventing future arguments that she’s being ignored because your favorite team is playing “again” and she can’t understand why you need to watch. being a sports fan is an extra curricular activity that seems like a complete waste of time to people who dont like it or dont understand it.

  5. 5 Jack Straw
    April 15, 2011 at 10:52 am

    I would assume there is a level of appropriate sports enthusiasm. This level of acceptance changes depending on the Women. They higher that level is the more I will watch American Idol with her. It has to be a give and take. But if she will ride a motorcycle/moped/bike with me to the woods set up camp and have a soulful evening… I will sew her clothes, color easter eggs, and watch Eat Pray Love, again.

  6. April 15, 2011 at 1:40 pm

    i kinda want a gf that rides a motorcycle…
    no camping…but wind in hair kinda stuff….and yeah if i cry at teh redskins game (and i will) id need my sig other to pat me on the back..not laugh behind it…

  7. April 15, 2011 at 2:40 pm

    nothing is better than a yankees girlfriend.

  8. April 15, 2011 at 7:24 pm

    I’m a “TOTAL non-sports fan” but I’d probably not mind if I had a partner who was a sports fan. I wouldn’t be disdainful. I’d probably sit and try to understand the sport. Then I’d most likely end up going for whatever team he was going for. I always subconsciously pick a favourite when watching anything from reality TV shows to movies and even sports that I don’t really understand.

    So maybe you’ll be able to convert a non-sports fan one day. Be more open minded towards us!

  9. April 16, 2011 at 7:45 pm

    I used to think I’d rather date someone like you, a TOTAL non-sports fan, than a New York Yankee fan.

    I scoffed at this lol, no offense. Even if your girlfriend is a fan of the opposing team, it still means that you have sports as a common interest. Plus, a little friendly competition/banter never hurt anyone.

    While I am not a camping buff, if I felt the need to go sleep in a tent (with copious amounts of wine) for a weekend, I hope that my guy would be open enough to try it with me.

    Good luck on your search!

  10. April 20, 2011 at 12:53 pm

    I’ve never been a big fan of sports, but I’m all in favor of dating someone who might even border on obsessive about them. Why? Because it shows passion, something that I happen to find very sexy. Everyone should have that something, right? So while I can understand you might think you need to be with someone who is as appreciative of sports as you are, I think finding someone who not only tolerates but RESPECTS your enthusiasm would be key.

    Clearly she wasn’t the one. Next!

  11. April 22, 2011 at 11:41 pm

    Yes to this: “I need someone who can understand why I wasn’t in the best mood this week”
    I love this post, truly. It made me laugh. It also made me appreciate all the different levels that you click with someone on; having things is common is great, having chemistry is awesome but being compatible is absolutely essential.

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