Archive for the 'Breakup Songs' Category

09
Mar
11

dear victor hugo,

I guess I should include the likes of Claude-Michel Schonberg (composer) & Herbert Kretzmer (English lyrics). Most of all, this letter goes out to Samantha Barks, who played the part of Eponine at the 25th Anniversary Les Miserables concert at the 02 Arena last Autumn. Is “On My Own” not the original “Dear Ex” letter? Yes, yes, I’m well effing aware that Eponine & Marius were never actually an ‘item,’ but I think I’m ok with that given that more than half the girls I’ve written letters to on this blog were never my actual girlfriend; instead they were just either objects of my affection who didn’t return said affection or biatches I met with once and never want to see again. It’s impossible for me to convey just how much I love this song, and pretty much all of the Les Mis soundtrack…and I’m also proud to admit it. I have no shame that I like some showtunes (Tommy, by The Who, should not be missed on Broadway, for example). Although I guess it does make it a bit easier to make this exclamation from the pulpit of an anonymous blog. But still, I might be risking losing a percentage of male readers by admitting that Les Miserables has often brought me to tears. I think I tweeted while I was watching this on PBS this past weekend something along the lines of “If Les Mis doesn’t affect your emotions in some way, you dont have a soul.” Watch this clip, I stand by that statement.

PS – Notice how I didn’t dedicate this song to g-damned ‘Glee‘ or Joey Potter from ‘Dawsons Creek.’ Want to know why? Because those shows are for p-words. And I’m all man baby.

PPS – I used to love ‘Dawsons Creek.’ And I’ve intentionally avoided ‘Glee’ because I have a feeling I’d love it. And yes, I put the PPS beneath the clip hoping most people wouldn’t notice it.

27
Dec
10

dear billy corgan,

You are bald, sometimes you wear long skirts/dresses at your live shows, and overall you seem like an extremely, how can I put it nicely, eccentric human being.  Basically, somehow I doubt the two of us would have much in common; if we ever got together for a beer I think we’d be resigned to discussing your music.  Although we could discuss sports, but you’d probably hate me because I know you are an avid Chicago Cubs fan, and because I’m a Red Sox fan you might just resent me.  You certainly couldn’t divulge any relationship advice that might help me find love, for eff’s sake, you’ve been romantically linked with many a females.  But that’s not really the reason, it’s mainly because you’ve had an on again/off again relationship with Courtney Love, the craziest biatch this side of the Great Wall.  Although you apparently did have a fling with Jessica Simpson, I’d love to know what she was like in the sack, when she wasn’t eating wings of buffaloes of course.  Wait, I got really off track, I’m writing you because of your song “Thirty-three.”

This song always depresses the crap out of me, yet I can’t stop listening to it…especially this time of year.  For some reason it makes me reflect on my not-so-interesting life and forces me to confront why I am A. single B. no prospects of not being single and C. in such a stagnant personal place.  I mean, how can a line like, “Tomorrow’s just an excuse away/So I pull my collar up and face the cold/On my own” not make you reflect on why you suck? And I do not wholly suck, only parts of me do, and Billy your song seems to bring out those parts in full force.  And I really want to know what the hell you meant by ‘Tomorrow’s just an excuse away.’ I always interpret it differently.  My guess is you weren’t referring to coming up with a new excuse, tomorrow, on why you are going to leave that nutjob Courtney Love again.  I come up with excuses constantly about items A, B & C above, the problem is the excuses are super good.  And thus, A/B/C are all still major components of my life.

So as not to completely encase myself in the post-holiday blues, I’ll finish by thanking you for providing glimpses of hope throughout this morose  song.  While lamenting my seemingly boring life, lyrics like “for a moment I lose myself/wrapped up in the pleasures of the world,” and, “I know I’ll make it/love can last forever” offer rays of light in this dark, dreary world.  Haha, I sound absurd with lines like that.

I’m not actually depressed, but who is truly happy the few days after Christmas? Not to mention it’s about 0 degrees outside, with heavy winds and snow. Excuse me for not being all hunky-effing dory.

23
Nov
10

Dear Eddie Vedder,

So I feel bad Eddie, because I really should be writing a letter to one of my females today since it’s been a few days.  But I’m giving myself an out because quite frankly, grad school needs to come first this week.  I promised myself I’d finish whatever school work I have remaining for the semester (and since I’m finishing this semester, forever).  Hence, I am pulling a slight copout by writing you this quickie.  The following clip illustrates two things: 1. how badass you are, how many musicians pull a surprise trip to a late night talk show and 2. the lyrics you sing are quite possibly the best lyrics to describe heartbreak.  For me, anyway.  After all, isn’t much of heartbreak comprised of not having someone in your life you wish you had?  Of course, I might just be talking myself into some BS because I would probably do anything for you…not sexually man, get your mind out of the gutter.  I promise you Eddie, that I will write a full letter to an ex before I inhale some turkey in two days, because I know you are out there somewhere reading them, and you will probably write a song about them, call me up on stage, invite me backstage to meet the band, teach me how to surf…ok whoops, just creeped myself out.

Love You Rock,

Jeremy (haha get it, like the song!)

16
Nov
10

Dear Ray Lamontagne

No, Ray & I never dated.  First of all, I am heterosexual.  Secondly, even if I were not, there is no way someone as cool as Ray would be interested in me.  But this is the start of a new feature where I’m simply going to embed a youtube video of a song I hear that reminds me of either A. a girl I’ve already written a letter to or B. a girl who in the very near future will receive one of my (in)famous letters.  These will be cut & dry, aka I’m not going to blabber on about the girl the song reminds me of, that is for the letters themselves.  Eventually this might move to it’s own page, but I think for now I’m going to keep it on the home page.  Because I can.  Because it is my blog.  So if you like listening to depressing breakup songs in the context of reading about lost loves (remember when Brenda listened to ‘Losing my Religion’ for an entire episode of old school 90210 after breaking up with Dylan? I sure as hell do), then come back often.  That gives me yet another idea, maybe I’ll post some sweet breakup movie/tv scenes as well…




Letters sent…

December 2012
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