Posts Tagged ‘festivus

23
Dec
10

dear kramer & mr. costanza

I realize you are both extremely busy this time of year – Kramer whipping up bagels at H&H, and Frank I’m sure you and Lloyd Braun are still slinging computers left and right, but I’d like to thank you, from the bottom of my heart, for the creation and commercializing of Festivus. It is, without a doubt, the best part of being an adult who does not celebrate Christmas.  Sure, I might only be 5’9, 150 pounds and can barely bend a wet noodle, but I have always stepped it up when it comes to the ‘feats of strength’.  And the ‘airing of grievances,’ I mean, wow, just effing wow! Can’t you tell from this blog alone that there is nothing in this life I appreciate more than telling other people, specfically ex girlfriends, how much they annoy me.  I was going to put up a Festivus Pole this year, but decided it looked too much like a stripper pole and I didn’t want to have to explain that to any potential females that might stop by.  Wait, I’ll be back in twenty minutes…

Ok I realized after writing that last sentence that there are no females coming over and thus I have put up my Festivus Pole.  Now all I need is to find some female to make out with tonight and my 2010 Festivus will be complete with a true FESTIVUS MIRACLE!

Sincerely,

Newman




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