Posts Tagged ‘lyrics

14
Feb
11

Dear St. Valentine,

I bet, given the typical nature of this blog, you are expecting a somewhat harsh, overly sarcastic letter about how much you suck and how much I loathe you. Well, great foresight St. V, you are correct. Nah, just kidding.

While I might be a tad bitter that I’m having Valentines Day dinner with my parents tonight and thus probably ruining a truly romantic evening for the two of them that would no doubt end with a totally wild session of…Masterpiece Theatre & a glass of brandy; and I’m clearly extremely bitter that I’m still single, at the end of the day I still kind of appreciate all the love on this day. Exhibit A – the lovely Valentines Day tweet I received from the hottest, and most talented writer in NYC. I mean, I’m not going to receive something like this, “Happy Valentines Day Tweetheart!” in real life. She even called my a cyber version of, ‘sweetheart.’ I’ve got a deep red blush going just writing about it.

I would like to question your placement of the holiday though, Mr. Valentine. Having been in an actual relationship in the past over V-Day, it puts tons of pressure on us guys to come up with yet another awe-inspiring gift so closely on the heels of the Christmas/Hanukah holiday time. We barely have time to catch our collective breaths before we start getting hints about a new piece of jewelry, or color of roses, or overpriced dinner reservation we have to make. But I guess that’s neither here nor there, since it won’t be changed. I just think guys would be a bit more apt to fully delve into the passion that females display for Valentines Day if we had a bit more time to rest after Christmas.

Seriously though, I think all singles focus a bit too much on the negative today. Big effing deal, we aren’t going to get laid tonight (at least, not by someone who we actually know, or like, or will know their name tomorrow morning), but 99% of us singles are still loved by a number of people. Sure, maybe it’s only by your friends, or relatives…but at least someone appreciates you. As the oft-referred to Eddie Vedder sings,

“Oh I’m a lucky man,to count on both hands, the ones I love.”

Would I like this day more if I was taking an intelligent (possibly glasses wearing), witty, caring, sexy female out for a candlelit dinner tonight who afterwords was going to strip down into some mind-blowingly hot new lingerie she purchased for me? Yes, yes I would. But, and not for a lack of trying, that isn’t going to happen. I accept that…and I accept even more the love that is a part of my life.

Now, if we could just do something about those effing Kay Jewelers commercials…

Sincerely,

HLJ (actual initials…just jumbled).

09
Feb
11

dear damien rice,

The other night I got into a conversation at the bar with a couple of female friends of mine about wedding songs. As in, what do you want to be played (preferably by the sweet-ass band, and not a DJ) when you have your first dance with your new spouse. The conversation didn’t last long, as we were in a small, local bar, that all of a sudden was taken over by a group called the Gay Sports Alliance, or something along those lines. Trust me, I don’t have any issue with it at all, but it got extremely loud extremely quickly and normal conversation just wasn’t going to happen. I was actually psyched the GSA showed up, because I figured if any eligible females showed up, I had a waaay better chance than normal. Yet, I digress. And no, I didn’t take anyone home.

Long story short, I couldn’t really come up with a good answer. Naturally, I ran through some of my favorite bands/musicians, and most of that stuff just doesn’t cut it. “Black” by Pearl Jam? Radiohead’s “Fake Plastic Trees?” “Burn” by Ray Lamontagne or pretty much anything you wrote, Damien? All of these songs are absolutely unreal feats of song-writing…however they are far more fitting for a breakup, not an effing marriage. I just realized why I like all this depressing music, I get rejected lots, the music is mood-fitting. Cue the sympathy comments!

Anyway, on my way home I was listening to a show of yours I downloaded (legally, I think…) from about 5 years ago, and you rocked an unreleased track, heard here…

I’m sure you remember all the lyrics, after all it is your own song, but for all those who um, might randomly stumble upon this incredibly private letter to you, this link might prove helpful. You can listen, and read at your own discretion, but it’s this line that really hit me…

I’ve got so much beauty around me I can’t move
I’ve got so much beauty around me I can’t lose

That’s what I want to be played during my first dance. Not only a shout out to the love between me and my (crossing fingers) future intelligent, funny, witty, smoking hot, honest, caring wife (I bet you didn’t even notice how I snuck in ‘smoking hot,’ did you?), but I feel like it also pays homage to my family and friends, right? I feel like it also might work in lieu of a thank you speech from me, because while I can ramble with a keyboard like Dickens, I don’t like public speaking. I can picture it now….’Franks Dad is here, that’s awesome, I haven’t seen him in like 8 years.

Sorry, I’m not a talker, I’m not a talker…’

 

 

27
Dec
10

dear billy corgan,

You are bald, sometimes you wear long skirts/dresses at your live shows, and overall you seem like an extremely, how can I put it nicely, eccentric human being.  Basically, somehow I doubt the two of us would have much in common; if we ever got together for a beer I think we’d be resigned to discussing your music.  Although we could discuss sports, but you’d probably hate me because I know you are an avid Chicago Cubs fan, and because I’m a Red Sox fan you might just resent me.  You certainly couldn’t divulge any relationship advice that might help me find love, for eff’s sake, you’ve been romantically linked with many a females.  But that’s not really the reason, it’s mainly because you’ve had an on again/off again relationship with Courtney Love, the craziest biatch this side of the Great Wall.  Although you apparently did have a fling with Jessica Simpson, I’d love to know what she was like in the sack, when she wasn’t eating wings of buffaloes of course.  Wait, I got really off track, I’m writing you because of your song “Thirty-three.”

This song always depresses the crap out of me, yet I can’t stop listening to it…especially this time of year.  For some reason it makes me reflect on my not-so-interesting life and forces me to confront why I am A. single B. no prospects of not being single and C. in such a stagnant personal place.  I mean, how can a line like, “Tomorrow’s just an excuse away/So I pull my collar up and face the cold/On my own” not make you reflect on why you suck? And I do not wholly suck, only parts of me do, and Billy your song seems to bring out those parts in full force.  And I really want to know what the hell you meant by ‘Tomorrow’s just an excuse away.’ I always interpret it differently.  My guess is you weren’t referring to coming up with a new excuse, tomorrow, on why you are going to leave that nutjob Courtney Love again.  I come up with excuses constantly about items A, B & C above, the problem is the excuses are super good.  And thus, A/B/C are all still major components of my life.

So as not to completely encase myself in the post-holiday blues, I’ll finish by thanking you for providing glimpses of hope throughout this morose  song.  While lamenting my seemingly boring life, lyrics like “for a moment I lose myself/wrapped up in the pleasures of the world,” and, “I know I’ll make it/love can last forever” offer rays of light in this dark, dreary world.  Haha, I sound absurd with lines like that.

I’m not actually depressed, but who is truly happy the few days after Christmas? Not to mention it’s about 0 degrees outside, with heavy winds and snow. Excuse me for not being all hunky-effing dory.

15
Dec
10

dear mumford & sons,

This is kind of a difficult letter to write, at least in terms of the concept of this blog, mainly because for the life of me I really can’t decipher what the eff this song means.  A quick recap of the comments on songmeanings.net (a tremendous website, by the way), has people telling tales of religion, philosophy, and drug addiction.  Well, I’m not smart enough to understand philosophy and religion, and the only thing I’m addicted to is French Pressed coffee…So I’m going to go out on a limb and interpret the song my own way.  I’ll keep it short and simple, I think the primary character in the song is addressing him/herself.  As you can see, if that is how I interpret the song, this letter really has no place in a blog dedicated to relationships.

Only, it sort of does.  I think part of the reason I’ve been so unlucky in love is because for the first quarter-plus century of my life I’ve been a pretty selfish human being.  I don’t necessarily think that is a bad thing though…I’m not going to go on that whole ‘before you love someone else you need to love yourself rant,’ but at the same time I was just never in a place where I could fully devote myself to someone else enough to maintain a romantic relationship.  Whether it was a job that required lots of travel, living briefly in strange places, grad school, or just the desire not to be held accountable to anyone but myself, I was not ready to fully commit.  In Rocky IV, Drago said (in Russian, mind you) “I fight for me! I FIGHT FOR ME!” Wow, I can’t believe I just referenced Rocky IV.  Whatever, the Rocky-Drago fight did effectively end the cold war, yet I digress.  Anyway, I was living for me, I WAS LIVING FOR ME!  As Mumford said,

‘Cause I need freedom now
And I need to know how
To live my life as it’s meant to be’

And yes, I’m sticking to that rationalization because if I don’t it means I must be just generally undesirable.  But I’m pretty sure I’m in a different place now, a place where I know how to live my life as I should, a place where I’m ready…to love someone else, or fight a Russian mammoth, or maybe even both.

Sincerely,

Apollo Creed (RIP my friend)

ps – I realize I effectively did not pay attention to any other part of the song, but I didn’t want to turn this into a thesis.

 

 




Letters sent…

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