Posts Tagged ‘social media

16
Dec
10

dear readers,

I am on the road for some job interview type crap (yeah, I said it…it’s crap, just give me a job.  Actually, I don’t really want one, I’d rather someone from a publishing company come along to this site, and ask me to turn these letters into a novel. But Chanukah has already passed.  Ok this parenthetical sentence has dragged on long enough).  So in lieu of an actual letter to some girl who broke my heart, or who wouldn’t french kiss me, or who I decided was not that good at the game of life, I’m going to do what every narcissistic blogger out there wants to do, but often doesn’t shamelessly self-promote, in my own post!

So, if you like my letters, or even if you don’t and simply want to show other people what a loser I am, than spread the good cheer:

Here is my brand new facebook community page, which will be tons of fun to check out once we get some banter going, and will be a good break from stalking exes of your own.  FYI, I warn you now at this point I can not “like” your page in return, I am trying my best to remain anonymous, at least for a little while…However, if you follow me on Twitter, I guarantee a return follow.

You know you are one anyway...might as well creep my blog page.

I realize this is incredibly shallow to do, but I’m having lots of fun writing this, and the response so far has been great…I just want more of it.  Normally I’d annoy my actual friends, but the whole anonymity thing.  Can you imagine if ‘Shannon’ read the letter I wrote to her earlier this week?  Actually, maybe she really would stop annoying me….hmmm?

Anyway, thanks and enjoy your respective weekends,

Dear Ex

02
Dec
10

you don’t want to be named as anybody’s girlfriend, and now you’re someone’s wife? *

Dear Margaret (x 2),

Sorry for bothering you again, as if my first letter to you wasn’t enough.  But I just caught wind of the fact that you are now engaged, of course I heard it via facebook.  I figure as your first boyfriend I deserved you flying to me and at least telling me face to face.  Ok, a phone call? Then again I guess if you had a list of people to call directly about your great news, I would rank somewhere between 87th and 1,060th, so I understand.

 

We were never really this happy anyway...Photo Courtesy of NYTimes

 

 

Let’s get the obvious out of the way first – congratulations.  I mean that from the bottom of my heart.  You were my first ‘girlfriend,’ so it’s not as if I hold some grudge that goes back 15 years.  We were friends throughout high school, and have kept in touch just enough for me to know that you deserve all the happiness that has come to you recently, and is coming your way in the future.  That’s really it…and yes I realize the quote doesn’t exactly fit – since it wasn’t the label of girlfriend you didn’t like, it was more about me trying to kiss you with cheese in my braces; and you aren’t someone’s wife quite yet.  You will be though, soon, and I couldn’t be happier for you.

Though I guess I do regret I never actually got to kiss you,

If you invite me, please place me next to some hot bridesmaids…

Ellio

* 500 Days of Summer




Letters sent…

December 2012
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