You are bald, sometimes you wear long skirts/dresses at your live shows, and overall you seem like an extremely, how can I put it nicely, eccentric human being. Basically, somehow I doubt the two of us would have much in common; if we ever got together for a beer I think we’d be resigned to discussing your music. Although we could discuss sports, but you’d probably hate me because I know you are an avid Chicago Cubs fan, and because I’m a Red Sox fan you might just resent me. You certainly couldn’t divulge any relationship advice that might help me find love, for eff’s sake, you’ve been romantically linked with many a females. But that’s not really the reason, it’s mainly because you’ve had an on again/off again relationship with Courtney Love, the craziest biatch this side of the Great Wall. Although you apparently did have a fling with Jessica Simpson, I’d love to know what she was like in the sack, when she wasn’t eating wings of buffaloes of course. Wait, I got really off track, I’m writing you because of your song “Thirty-three.”
This song always depresses the crap out of me, yet I can’t stop listening to it…especially this time of year. For some reason it makes me reflect on my not-so-interesting life and forces me to confront why I am A. single B. no prospects of not being single and C. in such a stagnant personal place. I mean, how can a line like, “Tomorrow’s just an excuse away/So I pull my collar up and face the cold/On my own” not make you reflect on why you suck? And I do not wholly suck, only parts of me do, and Billy your song seems to bring out those parts in full force. And I really want to know what the hell you meant by ‘Tomorrow’s just an excuse away.’ I always interpret it differently. My guess is you weren’t referring to coming up with a new excuse, tomorrow, on why you are going to leave that nutjob Courtney Love again. I come up with excuses constantly about items A, B & C above, the problem is the excuses are super good. And thus, A/B/C are all still major components of my life.
So as not to completely encase myself in the post-holiday blues, I’ll finish by thanking you for providing glimpses of hope throughout this morose song. While lamenting my seemingly boring life, lyrics like “for a moment I lose myself/wrapped up in the pleasures of the world,” and, “I know I’ll make it/love can last forever” offer rays of light in this dark, dreary world. Haha, I sound absurd with lines like that.
I’m not actually depressed, but who is truly happy the few days after Christmas? Not to mention it’s about 0 degrees outside, with heavy winds and snow. Excuse me for not being all hunky-effing dory.